Three small words that can sound so harsh but can change a whole situation for the better...
This is something I have heard a lot of recently - not only from friends but also from myself. Before Christmas, a part of my personal life changed and I wasn't happy about it to say the least. Now, nearly a couple of months later, things are still happening that upset me and make me feel sad but all I can say to myself is 'get over it'.
Like with most things in life, this is something easier said than done, and although your friends can say it to you with the best intentions, it can still make you think they are being harsh and do not understand your situation. Deep down you know they are right and that is why they are your friends. I know this post may be very vague and just sound like a ramble but I'm just putting my feelings out there - something I NEVER do!
When a big part of your life changes, how do you 'get over it'? You can act out, change your hairstyle, go out every weekend and try to meet new people but sometimes part of you still feels sad and you find that acting like this doesn't really help. Otherwise you can mope, feel sorry for yourself and try to get things back to how they were, but sometimes you just have to accept they are over. Even though it may not seem like it at first, if it is meant to be then everything will work out for the best, it just takes time.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with going out with your friends, having a drink and chatting away to new people, just like there is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself sometimes and having a cry. One of the problems with saying 'get over it' is that everybody is different, and everybody has different ways of 'getting over it' - it's part of learning.
And the fact it takes time is frustrating - who wants to sit around and wait for things to get better? At first it feels like feeling better is a million miles away, and just when you do start feeling happier with yourself, something comes right back and smacks you in the face and again, you're left feeling sad and hurt and wondering why all of this is happening?
Personally, I have gone through the phase of wanting to go out, dance my socks off and enjoy drinks with my friends and just being sociable. I still feel like this, but I understand that it won't necessarily help my situation so there is no point going out, spending money when you know it is going to be a shit night. I love my friends to bits, and since this has happened I have had some great times with them, but when I do decide to go out I'm doing it for me and therefore, it is going to be a great night. I have also tried staying in with my thoughts, letting myself feel sad and at first it does feel good to let it out. However, thinking that getting all your sadness out so you feel better the next day doesn't always work either, and then you're back to square one!
When you go through something, for example a break-up, it's amazing how many things seem like signs; you put your ipod on shuffle and nothing but sad songs seem to play, or you watch television and every other sentence seems like a hidden message - coincidence or fate? Who knows... and that is a whole other blog to get into.
There doesn't seem to be a right, or wrong, way of 'getting over it'; everybody's situations are different and everybody's feelings are different. One of the *joys* of living is learning - we're all going to learn in different ways and although it may be frustrating getting there, we will get there. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and just because things take time doesn't mean you're going to feel like that forever, even if right now it feels that way.
So yeah, GET OVER IT! x