Thursday, 29 September 2011

One for the Gleeks!: Santana

Here we go then - part 2! I've been looking forward to posting this blog all week!


In this week's 'One for the Gleeks!' feature, I take a look back at some of Santana's greatest one-liners. She is fierce, a bit of a bitch, but funny! Even though we did not see much of her in the first series, she has become such a great character that I couldn't imagine the show without her!


So here they are:

Santana: Please. I've had mono so many times it turned into stereo.

Santana: I've kissed Finn, and can I just say: NOT worth a buck. I would, however, pay $100 to jiggle one of his man boobs.
Santana: The only straight I am's a straight up bitch.
Tina: Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Schue belonged in a twelve-step program!
Will: Wait, what?
Santana: You're addicted to vests.

Santana: (To Brittany) I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you. I'm making out with you because Puck's been in the slammer for 24 hours and I'm like a lizard: if I don't have something warm beneath me I can't digest my food.

Santana: Well, Rachel, congratulations. Normally you dress like the fantasy of a Japanese businessman with a very dark, specific fetish, but I actually dig this look. Yay!

Santana: Let us give you an introduction into the way we work. You buy us dinner, we make out in front of you. It's like, the best deal ever.

Santana: Everything about you screams virgin. You're about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid. It's exhausting to look at you.

Santana: Look, my dad's a doctor, and not a tooth doctor, a real one. He goes to college or something. which means I have a killer health plan which pays for everything. So get up in my grill, cause Brits and I wants to get our anesthesia on.

Santana: Not only am I giving you full visitation rights to the set of rambunctious twins that live on my rib cage, you get the chance to show that pastry bag Finn that he can’t mess with Sam Evans. And not just because you can unlock your humongous jaw and swallow him whole like a python.

And of course... all of the lyrics to 'Trouty Mouth':

Guppy Face, Trouty Mouth

Is that how people's lips look where you come from in the South

Grouper Mouth, Froggy Lips
I love suckin' on those salamander lips

Wanna put a fish hook in those lips so cherry red
If you tried hard enough you could suck a baby's head


P.S: If you haven't seen the first episode of the third series then look away... NOW! *Spoiler Alert*

I REALLY hope Mr Schue lets Santana back into the Glee club, although I can't wait to see what trouble she stirs up in the meantime - Lima Heights Adjacent stylee!

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